It’s interesting looking back on my few posts and realizing that I always run back here whenever times get tough. I’m still dealing with my social anxiety and the depression hasn’t been too bad lately….but I guess it’s because I’ve been in a relationship…which worries me, why is my happiness dependent on someone else? Or the actions of others?
Anyway…what brought me here today was that my father told me that he didn’t care if I never talked to him ever again….so loving right?!…I don’t know what bothers me more : the fact that he decided to lash out on me for no reason or the fact that I don’t really care? I’ve barely been existent to my family all my life, so to hear that he doesn’t care if we never speak, it’s hurtful but also kinda like whatever.
If anything, what bothers me is the fact that today I realized that without my boyfriend and without my family, that I already barely speak to, I have no friends or anything. I guess I can tell I’m about to fall into my depression again so I’m just preparing…I don’t even know what I’m going to do, kinda just over everything.